| THE WINNERS! |
Why is that young girl with Mel Gibson? He’s 60 (though
frankly he looks older); she’s 26ish. She’s younger than six of his children. And
she just gave birth to his ninth child five weeks ago. Gee, I wonder what she
sees in him. My guess is $$$.
What is Leslie Mann smuggling under those layers? Looks like
it should be Belle’s dress from Beauty and the Beast. Tale as old as time, song as old as wine...
Did Michelle Williams bring her Dawson ’s Creek bestie Busy Phillips? Yes, she
did. I think it’s so cute that their friendship, borne a decade ago on a WB tv
show, is still so strong. Busy has been at Michelle’s side for years on the
awards circuit.
Nude/gold dresses trend: Emma Stone, Nicole Kidman. While I do not love Emma Stone, I do love her fab fringes. I also love Kidman’s dress. Jessica Biel’s gold gown is hideous.
Justin Timberlake opens with a rousing, crowd-pleasing
rendition of “Can’t Stop the Feeling.” Sadly this will be the highlight of the
show for me. It’s all downhill from here. Check it out here: http://oscar.go.com/video/oscar-highlights-2017/justin-timberlakes-oscar-performance
Thumbs up to Jimmy Kimmel’s opening monologue. Favorite
line: This year in film, black people saved NASA (Hidden Figures) and white people saved jazz (La La Land).
Alicia Vikander (love her!), last year’s Best Supporting
Actress, presents Best Supporting Actor to…Mahershala Ali (Moonlight), looking like a young Lou Gossett, Jr. I’ve liked him
ever since the USA
show “The 4400.” He seems like a real genuine dude.
 |
| Alicia Vikander |
Best Makeup & Hairstyling goes to Suicide Squad.
Best Costume goes to Fantastic
Beasts and Where to Find Them.
The cast of Hidden Figures. Taraji (center) looks fierce. Octavia (right) does plus-size so right. Janelle is adorable, but her dress is a bit much (left).
The 16-year-old from Moana
sang beautifully. Such poise and composure in front of a massive international
audience. Impressive.
Ellen brought pizza, Chris Rock brought Girl Scout cookies,
and Jimmy Kimmel…dropped little bags of candy from the ceiling
Hunger-Games-arena-style.
Arrival (aka the most
boring movie about aliens ever made) wins Best Sound Editing.
Hacksaw Ridge wins
Sound Mixing. The lead mixer, Kevin O’Connell, has been nominated 20 times
before without a win, but tonight was his night. Finally!
Best Supporting Actress, as expected, goes to Viola Davis (Fences), radiant in red. Her strategy to
push herself in the supporting category rather than the lead category worked.
No one else stood a chance this year.
Best Foreign Language Film (if anyone cares—I don’t): The Salesman, and Iranian movie. Oh wait—I
do care because of the back story. The Iranian director was initially worried
that he wouldn’t be able to attend the Oscars because of the Muslim ban. Once
that was cleared up, he made a conscious decision not to attend in protest. The
woman who accepted on his behalf read a statement from him explaining his
position.
Dakota Johnson’s (50
Shades of Gray) dress is awful. Seriously looks like you could stick a
curtain rod through the shoulder area and hang it up as draperty. Like Carol
Burnett could have worn it in a skit on her variety show. (RIP Carol.) Ugh.
Best Production Design: freakin’ La La Land (I’m not a fan.)
They just brought a busload of tourists into the ceremony.
These morons somehow had no idea they were walking into the Oscar ceremony.
Seriously? They are clearly not movie fans. I’ve had this on my calendar since
like November. If you don’t even realize the Oscars are happening today, you
are NOT a movie fan.
Best Visual Effects: The
Jungle Book
Why is Chris Messina (“The Mindy Project”) at the Oscars?
And for that matter, why is Gael Garcia Bernal?
Best Film Editing: Hacksaw
Ridge
Jimmy Kimmel just tweeted Donald Trump since Trump hadn’t
tweeted about the Oscars.
Best Cinematography: freakin’ La La Land
A special Oscars edition of Kimmel’s Mean Tweets. Hilarious! Check it out here: http://oscar.go.com/video/oscar-highlights-2017/watch-mean-tweets-2017-oscars-edition
Best Score: freakin’ La
La Land
Original Song: freakin’ La
La Land
Back to real awards--Original Screenplay (presented by
former screenplay winners Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, still feuding with
Kimmel, who had the band “play him off” while presenting the nominees) goes to
Kenneth Lonergan for Manchester By the
Sea. Matt Damon is largely responsible for bringing the movie to the
screen.
Adapted Screenplay: Moonlight.
I’m not sure what it’s adapted from. Didn’t think it was a book…
Best Director: freakin’ La
La Land
We still have the last 3 big awards, and we’re already 25
minutes into overtime. Why do they even bother scheduling this thing for just 3 hours?
Best Actor: Casey Affleck (Manchester
Best Actress: Emma Stone for freakin’ La La Land. (Eye roll.)
Best Picture: freakin’, frakkin’ La La Land. Wait—HOLD THE PHONE—Old man Warren Beatty and old lady
Faye Dunaway read the wrong winner. It’s Steve Harvey and the Miss America (or
was it Universe?) pageant—except wayyyyyy bigger—all over again! Moonlight is the actual winner of Best
Picture. OMG! Warren and Faye somehow had the wrong envelope (a duplicate of
Emma’s best actress envelope). La La was up there gushing about their win, and
BAM—you didn’t win. They very graciously handed the award over to its rightful
team from Moonlight. Wow. This one is
going down in the history books. Check it out here:
http://oscar.go.com/video/oscar-highlights-2017/after-mistaken-announcement-moonlight-named-best-picture
http://oscar.go.com/video/oscar-highlights-2017/after-mistaken-announcement-moonlight-named-best-picture
