Emmys 2014

You'll have to keep reading to find out who this handsome fella is.  ;-)


Seth Myers killed in his opening monologue.  It drew guffaws from me.  The segment with that guy who beaugards people on the street with a dollar if they can answer his question was also hilarious.  (Okay, I looked him up.  His name is Billy Eichner.) 
Seth's opener: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gBc7ubEO1c
Billy Eichner's segment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFiElMeRs2w

Oscar winners are taking over the Emmys!  In attendance as nominees for their television work: Julia Roberts, Kevin Spacey, Jodie Foster, Matthew McConaughey, Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates.  In attendance to pimp their new fall shows: Octavia Spencer, Viola Davis.  In attendance to make other women feel bad about themselves (and to present best drama): Halle Berry.

Why is Adam Levine there though?  Oh, I think The Voice is nominated.  Busy couple of days for me.  Maroon 5 performed at the VMA’s last night too.

So many great nominees!  I can’t be mad regardless of who wins.  There is some great tv out there, and yes it’s mostly on cable and Netflix.

A bunch of the Orange is the New Black gals are nominated against each other, as are the American Horror Story ladies and the guys from The Normal Heart.

Nominees waiting unwatched on my dvr that I’m reminded I need to watch: Fargo, The Normal Heart and True Detective (on demand)

Jim Parsons (Sheldon) wins best actor – comedy for Big Bang (his 4^th) and Julia Louis-Dreyfus wins best actress – comedy her 3^rd for HBO’s Veep, her 5^th overall.  The whole wide world watches BBT, but you’re missing out if you haven’t watched Veep.  Julia is an excellent comedic actress.  It was true in Seinfeld, it was true in The New Adventures of Old Christine and it’s still true in Veep.  And she is great fun at awards shows.  Love her!

The bit where the audience asks Seth questions was pretty good, too.  And Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ extended bit with Bryan Cranston was hilarious.

Woody Harrelson’s impression of Matthew McConaughey?  Priceless.  Loving their Texas-boys rapport.  I bet True Detective was a fun set (dark subject matter aside).

Lots of Sherlock love tonight.  I wish it liked it more than I do.  Wait—no I don’t.  I have enough to watch already.

I’m kinda loving Weird Al’s resurgent popuarity. He wrote words to instrumental tv theme songs (Modern Family, Homeland, Mad Men, Game of Thrones).  The dissed this segment hard on the radio.  I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it either.  Still happy for Al though.  

Lena Headey (Cersei from Game of Thrones) has a very cool and distinct voice.  I recognized her voiceover the the sequel to The 300 (before I knew what the movie was).  In my mind you are somebody if I recognize your voice outta nowhere.

Ha! Gwen Stefani mispronounced Stephen Colbert’s last name, and Adam Levine had to correct her.  (If only Adam had been there for John Travolta during the “Adele Dazeem” debacle).

All of the comedians and comediennes are really bringing it tonight.  I laughed a lot throughout the show.

Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul’s Breaking Bad character) takes home Emmy #3.  I hope he manages to extend his post-BB career.  That racing movie was not a great start.

Lights dimmed, somber orchestra music, Sara Bareilles in a stately black gown singing Charlie Chaplin’s song Smile…yep, it’s “In Memoriam” time.  Better grab my Kleenex.  Paul Walker, Meshach Taylor, James Avery, Ann B. Davis, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Peter O’Toole, Don Pardo, Shirley Temple, Ruby Dee, Mickey Rooney, Harold Ramis, Lauren Bacall, James Garner, Maya Angelou, Bob Hoskins, Robin Williams.  Yowza.  And Sara B sounded great.

The director who won for True Detective apparently started out as a PA on the, and I quote, “Destiny Child’s” video.  Do you see the problem there?  Sidenote: this fella, Cary Joji Fukunaga, wins my award for best-looking non-actor to get screen time.  I looked him up to get his name and everything.  (Update: apparently I'm not the only one who noticed.  He's the surprise "Emmy heartthrob" of the night.  LOL.)  Take a gander.  He's half Swedish, half Japanese, 100% HOT.  In the interest of time, I didn't include any pics.  Except for him. Cuz ya gotta see him or what's the point?

Lots of love for the farewell season of Breaking Bad.  First Aaron Paul and now Anna Gunn.  All well-deserved.  If I were in the best actor – drama category, I’d be worried.  Unless I’m Bryan Cranston, of course, because he’s got it in the bag.  Can they resist one last chance to fete Walter White?  Doubtful.

Wow, Julianna Margulies just beat out a bunch of cable chicks (and fellow networker Kerry Washington).  

Poor Jeff Daniels (how did you sneak in there?) and Jon Hamm (always a bridesmaid, never a bride).  You don’t have a chance in hell at winning best actor over Bryan Cranston, Matthew McConaughey, Woody Harrelson or Kevin Spacey.  And…Bryan takes home his 4^th and final Emmy as Walter White.  Matthew loses the chance to win the Oscar and Emmy in the same year.  He would have been only the first or second to accomplish that feat.  But you can’t compete with Heisenberg.

Do I need to be watching this HBO comedy Silicon Valley?  I don’t think it won tonight, but it was nominated several times.

Modern Family won its 5^th consecutive Emmy for best comedy.  That’s every year it’s been on.  It’s unstoppable and thus far unbeatable.  

Breaking Bad takes best drama honors.  And all other dramas breathe a sigh of relief that they won’t have to compete with that behemoth next year. 

VMAs 2014

Overall not a total stinker.  I enjoyed some performances, and hey, it was a short show!  Here are my thoughts on the proceedings:

Is Nicki Minaj’s butt real?  Cuz her figure is just cartoonish.  I think it’s worse than Kim Kardashian.  And btw, with Nicki and Kim in attendance, plus Iggy Azalea, J.Lo and Beyonce, there is a lot of a** in that room.

 

Does the country music world still claim Taylor Swift at all?  Cuz the girl is full-on pop now.  And her new song is waaayyy pop.  I thought it was Katy Perry on the radio the other day.  Nope, just Taylor.

What is there to say about Sam Smith?  His voice is amazing!  I love that song “Lay with Me.”  Not really feeling his other songs though.  It’s the Adele syndrome for me:  I love your voice but not many of your songs. Oh, and he looks like a young Boy George sans makeup.  For real.

I used to love Usher’s music, but I just don’t anymore.  The last 2 or 3 albums just haven’t done it for me.

OMG, Nicki Minaj is guesting on this Usher song too.  That’s the 3^rd time she’s performed tonight.  Enough already.

On-the-rise boy band 5 Seconds of Summer (currently opening for One Direction on their stadium tour) is a real band.  I did not know that.  They all play instruments. 

Oh look, Taylor is dancing in her seat (to Iggy Azalea).  At least she isn’t standing this time.  I mean, she’s always in the front row and she’s like 5’10” already before she puts her heels on.  So she needs to stay seated. 

Not feeling Demi Lovato’s new look.

Glad Adam Levine isn’t blond anymore. That was not a good look on him. 

That stupid Miley Cyrus video Wrecking Ball won video of the year?!?!  Really?  I never watched it (on principal—she is sickening).  Is it artistically worthy?  Oh wait, Miley is having her date accept for her.  Turns out he’s a homeless youth speaking on behalf of that group.  It’s nice that Miley’s trying to bring awareness and all (apparently you can go to her website for more info), but she looks so fake when the camera pans to her during the boy’s speech.  Hopefully her tears and feelings are genuine even if they didn’t look it.

Is Katy Perry friends with Sam Smith?  Her arm is propped up on his back, so I hope so.  She and Riffraff (whom I’ve never heard of but he’s a Houston rapper, featured on her latest remix apparently) look ridiculous in their matching Versace demin ensembles, but she did say they were paying homage to Britney and Justin’s equally ridiculous denim ensembles from the VMAs of yore.  I respect the throwback mockery.  He also looks ridiculous (cornrows and a grill) independent of the denim get-up. 

I think Beyonce is getting the Vanguard award, which is a cumulative award for your body of work.  So why is she only doing her new stuff?  I like her new stuff, but I looovve her old stuff.  I can admit the new stuff is just very unconventional and downright weird at times, and I can see casual listeners thinking it sounds like noise because it’s so different (the melodies, the phrasing, etc.). 

Just saw Jay-Z in the audience holding Blue Ivy, no headphones in sight.  Isn’t that a no-no?  Usually singing celebs make sure their babies/toddlers have headphones at concerts to protect their young ears.  Heck, sometimes I think I oughta have them to protect my middle-aged ears. 

I take back what I said about Bey’s booty earlier.  Her butt is a shadow of its former self.  Compared to the other booties on deck, hers is not impressive anymore.  But she’s more talented and successful than those other chicks, so there’s that.  I never thought she’d lose enough weight to lose her badunkadunk, but she did.  She’s not Taylor Swift-flat or anything, but her body is no longer too bootylicious for ya, babe. (For the record, J.Lo's butt ain't what it used to be either. KK, Iggy and Nicki make Bey and J look downright unimpressive.)

 

Speaking of Taylor Swift, she finally stood up (on Bey’s last song) and she’s basically wearing a leotard.  Not for a performance but as her outfit.  Does she think she’s Gaga now?  (And since she was kind enough to pose over-the-shoulder, you can do a butt comparison to Bey!)

So Jay, still holding Blue Ivy, presented the award to Bey, who started crying.  I hope this isn’t all for show to prove their marriage is solid.  Time will tell. 

 

I think the show actually ended early, like 15-20 minutes early.  Well, I never…