Emmys 2014

You'll have to keep reading to find out who this handsome fella is.  ;-)


Seth Myers killed in his opening monologue.  It drew guffaws from me.  The segment with that guy who beaugards people on the street with a dollar if they can answer his question was also hilarious.  (Okay, I looked him up.  His name is Billy Eichner.) 
Seth's opener: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gBc7ubEO1c
Billy Eichner's segment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFiElMeRs2w

Oscar winners are taking over the Emmys!  In attendance as nominees for their television work: Julia Roberts, Kevin Spacey, Jodie Foster, Matthew McConaughey, Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates.  In attendance to pimp their new fall shows: Octavia Spencer, Viola Davis.  In attendance to make other women feel bad about themselves (and to present best drama): Halle Berry.

Why is Adam Levine there though?  Oh, I think The Voice is nominated.  Busy couple of days for me.  Maroon 5 performed at the VMA’s last night too.

So many great nominees!  I can’t be mad regardless of who wins.  There is some great tv out there, and yes it’s mostly on cable and Netflix.

A bunch of the Orange is the New Black gals are nominated against each other, as are the American Horror Story ladies and the guys from The Normal Heart.

Nominees waiting unwatched on my dvr that I’m reminded I need to watch: Fargo, The Normal Heart and True Detective (on demand)

Jim Parsons (Sheldon) wins best actor – comedy for Big Bang (his 4^th) and Julia Louis-Dreyfus wins best actress – comedy her 3^rd for HBO’s Veep, her 5^th overall.  The whole wide world watches BBT, but you’re missing out if you haven’t watched Veep.  Julia is an excellent comedic actress.  It was true in Seinfeld, it was true in The New Adventures of Old Christine and it’s still true in Veep.  And she is great fun at awards shows.  Love her!

The bit where the audience asks Seth questions was pretty good, too.  And Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ extended bit with Bryan Cranston was hilarious.

Woody Harrelson’s impression of Matthew McConaughey?  Priceless.  Loving their Texas-boys rapport.  I bet True Detective was a fun set (dark subject matter aside).

Lots of Sherlock love tonight.  I wish it liked it more than I do.  Wait—no I don’t.  I have enough to watch already.

I’m kinda loving Weird Al’s resurgent popuarity. He wrote words to instrumental tv theme songs (Modern Family, Homeland, Mad Men, Game of Thrones).  The dissed this segment hard on the radio.  I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it either.  Still happy for Al though.  

Lena Headey (Cersei from Game of Thrones) has a very cool and distinct voice.  I recognized her voiceover the the sequel to The 300 (before I knew what the movie was).  In my mind you are somebody if I recognize your voice outta nowhere.

Ha! Gwen Stefani mispronounced Stephen Colbert’s last name, and Adam Levine had to correct her.  (If only Adam had been there for John Travolta during the “Adele Dazeem” debacle).

All of the comedians and comediennes are really bringing it tonight.  I laughed a lot throughout the show.

Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul’s Breaking Bad character) takes home Emmy #3.  I hope he manages to extend his post-BB career.  That racing movie was not a great start.

Lights dimmed, somber orchestra music, Sara Bareilles in a stately black gown singing Charlie Chaplin’s song Smile…yep, it’s “In Memoriam” time.  Better grab my Kleenex.  Paul Walker, Meshach Taylor, James Avery, Ann B. Davis, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Peter O’Toole, Don Pardo, Shirley Temple, Ruby Dee, Mickey Rooney, Harold Ramis, Lauren Bacall, James Garner, Maya Angelou, Bob Hoskins, Robin Williams.  Yowza.  And Sara B sounded great.

The director who won for True Detective apparently started out as a PA on the, and I quote, “Destiny Child’s” video.  Do you see the problem there?  Sidenote: this fella, Cary Joji Fukunaga, wins my award for best-looking non-actor to get screen time.  I looked him up to get his name and everything.  (Update: apparently I'm not the only one who noticed.  He's the surprise "Emmy heartthrob" of the night.  LOL.)  Take a gander.  He's half Swedish, half Japanese, 100% HOT.  In the interest of time, I didn't include any pics.  Except for him. Cuz ya gotta see him or what's the point?

Lots of love for the farewell season of Breaking Bad.  First Aaron Paul and now Anna Gunn.  All well-deserved.  If I were in the best actor – drama category, I’d be worried.  Unless I’m Bryan Cranston, of course, because he’s got it in the bag.  Can they resist one last chance to fete Walter White?  Doubtful.

Wow, Julianna Margulies just beat out a bunch of cable chicks (and fellow networker Kerry Washington).  

Poor Jeff Daniels (how did you sneak in there?) and Jon Hamm (always a bridesmaid, never a bride).  You don’t have a chance in hell at winning best actor over Bryan Cranston, Matthew McConaughey, Woody Harrelson or Kevin Spacey.  And…Bryan takes home his 4^th and final Emmy as Walter White.  Matthew loses the chance to win the Oscar and Emmy in the same year.  He would have been only the first or second to accomplish that feat.  But you can’t compete with Heisenberg.

Do I need to be watching this HBO comedy Silicon Valley?  I don’t think it won tonight, but it was nominated several times.

Modern Family won its 5^th consecutive Emmy for best comedy.  That’s every year it’s been on.  It’s unstoppable and thus far unbeatable.  

Breaking Bad takes best drama honors.  And all other dramas breathe a sigh of relief that they won’t have to compete with that behemoth next year. 

VMAs 2014

Overall not a total stinker.  I enjoyed some performances, and hey, it was a short show!  Here are my thoughts on the proceedings:

Is Nicki Minaj’s butt real?  Cuz her figure is just cartoonish.  I think it’s worse than Kim Kardashian.  And btw, with Nicki and Kim in attendance, plus Iggy Azalea, J.Lo and Beyonce, there is a lot of a** in that room.

 

Does the country music world still claim Taylor Swift at all?  Cuz the girl is full-on pop now.  And her new song is waaayyy pop.  I thought it was Katy Perry on the radio the other day.  Nope, just Taylor.

What is there to say about Sam Smith?  His voice is amazing!  I love that song “Lay with Me.”  Not really feeling his other songs though.  It’s the Adele syndrome for me:  I love your voice but not many of your songs. Oh, and he looks like a young Boy George sans makeup.  For real.

I used to love Usher’s music, but I just don’t anymore.  The last 2 or 3 albums just haven’t done it for me.

OMG, Nicki Minaj is guesting on this Usher song too.  That’s the 3^rd time she’s performed tonight.  Enough already.

On-the-rise boy band 5 Seconds of Summer (currently opening for One Direction on their stadium tour) is a real band.  I did not know that.  They all play instruments. 

Oh look, Taylor is dancing in her seat (to Iggy Azalea).  At least she isn’t standing this time.  I mean, she’s always in the front row and she’s like 5’10” already before she puts her heels on.  So she needs to stay seated. 

Not feeling Demi Lovato’s new look.

Glad Adam Levine isn’t blond anymore. That was not a good look on him. 

That stupid Miley Cyrus video Wrecking Ball won video of the year?!?!  Really?  I never watched it (on principal—she is sickening).  Is it artistically worthy?  Oh wait, Miley is having her date accept for her.  Turns out he’s a homeless youth speaking on behalf of that group.  It’s nice that Miley’s trying to bring awareness and all (apparently you can go to her website for more info), but she looks so fake when the camera pans to her during the boy’s speech.  Hopefully her tears and feelings are genuine even if they didn’t look it.

Is Katy Perry friends with Sam Smith?  Her arm is propped up on his back, so I hope so.  She and Riffraff (whom I’ve never heard of but he’s a Houston rapper, featured on her latest remix apparently) look ridiculous in their matching Versace demin ensembles, but she did say they were paying homage to Britney and Justin’s equally ridiculous denim ensembles from the VMAs of yore.  I respect the throwback mockery.  He also looks ridiculous (cornrows and a grill) independent of the denim get-up. 

I think Beyonce is getting the Vanguard award, which is a cumulative award for your body of work.  So why is she only doing her new stuff?  I like her new stuff, but I looovve her old stuff.  I can admit the new stuff is just very unconventional and downright weird at times, and I can see casual listeners thinking it sounds like noise because it’s so different (the melodies, the phrasing, etc.). 

Just saw Jay-Z in the audience holding Blue Ivy, no headphones in sight.  Isn’t that a no-no?  Usually singing celebs make sure their babies/toddlers have headphones at concerts to protect their young ears.  Heck, sometimes I think I oughta have them to protect my middle-aged ears. 

I take back what I said about Bey’s booty earlier.  Her butt is a shadow of its former self.  Compared to the other booties on deck, hers is not impressive anymore.  But she’s more talented and successful than those other chicks, so there’s that.  I never thought she’d lose enough weight to lose her badunkadunk, but she did.  She’s not Taylor Swift-flat or anything, but her body is no longer too bootylicious for ya, babe. (For the record, J.Lo's butt ain't what it used to be either. KK, Iggy and Nicki make Bey and J look downright unimpressive.)

 

Speaking of Taylor Swift, she finally stood up (on Bey’s last song) and she’s basically wearing a leotard.  Not for a performance but as her outfit.  Does she think she’s Gaga now?  (And since she was kind enough to pose over-the-shoulder, you can do a butt comparison to Bey!)

So Jay, still holding Blue Ivy, presented the award to Bey, who started crying.  I hope this isn’t all for show to prove their marriage is solid.  Time will tell. 

 

I think the show actually ended early, like 15-20 minutes early.  Well, I never…

OSCARS 2014 BLOG

RED CARPET PRE-SHOW

Lupita Nyong’o looks stunning, as usual.  Her color of choice tonight is baby blue, a flowing, princessy number with a deep plunge neckline.  She has no boobs to speak of, which is perfect for the deep plunge.



 Bette Midler and Liza Minelli are both in attendance.  I wonder why? 

Random tv people in attendance: Kerry Washington, Sarah Paulson, Jason Sudeikis.  Well, Sarah was in 12 Years a Slave.  Kerry’s stock is clearly on the rise.  And Jason is Olivia Wild’s baby daddy, and she was in multi-nominated Her, so why not, I guess.

Men look so dapper in a tux.  All men should wear tuxes more often.

And speaking of male fashion, there’s a white jacket trend happening.  Ryan Seacrest, Jared Leto and Matthew McConaughey all in white tux jackets.  Did Jared and Matt plan that?  A little costar coordination?


 Moms are also a big accessory for the men.  Jonah Hill, Jared Leto and Matthew McConaughey all brought Mama.  Matt gets his dimples from his mother.

Pharell is not wearing his Yogi Bear hat from the Grammys, but he is wearing walking shorts with a tux on top.  He marches to the beat of his own drummer.

Apparently perpetual klutz Jennifer Lawrence, who tripped up the stairs accepting her award last year, tripped over a cone on the red carpet this year.  (That's her being helped up by the policeman.)
 


Switching over to ABC’s coverage (instead of E!), is that male supermodel pioneer Tyson Beckford doing fashion commentary?  It looks like him but it doesn’t look like him.  Is it just a doppelganger?  (Update:  I rewound to catch his intro, and it is indeed Tyson.)

THE OSCARS

Ellen looks so pretty! That Cover Girl is workin’ for her.  Her eyes are really poppin’.

The real Captain Phillips and Philomena are in attendance.  It’s awesome.

This is Meryl’s 18^th nomination?!  She is without equal.

I love Ellen.  She is just so damn likeable.  I love her humor.

Can you believe Jonah Hill is on his second Oscar nomination?  Jonah.  Hill.  Who ever saw that coming?

I’m sure Barkhad Abdi (the Somali pirate from Captain Phillips) is a lovely man, and what a Cinderella story of him getting plucked from obscurity and earning an Oscar nod for his first acting role, but he should have gotten his teeth fixed before awards season.  You’re rolling with the uber-beautiful people now.  But of course he’s probably not very rich yet.  As an unknown, he probably got paid bubkus for his role.  If he keeps acting, he really should consider dental work.

And the first award of the night goes to Jordan Catalano aka Jared Leto for Dallas Buyers Club.  He really is so damn pretty, just like Ellen said.  His acceptance speech was so good!  He thanked his beautiful mom (I see where he gets his looks) and his big bro (whom I didn’t know was in his band 30 Seconds to Mars with him) and gave a thoughtful shoutout to the Ukraine, Venezuela, AIDS-sufferers and the LGBT community.  What a great way to start the show.

Pharell’s “Happy” song is so joyous!  I love that Lupita Nyong’o, Meryl Streep and Amy Adams all played along and danced when he went into the audience.  He lost the walking shorts, but he’s wearing another one of those stupid Yogi Bear hats.  I guess it’s his thing for now.  

Naomi Watts looks beautiful.  Her face and makeup look marvelous.  And that white Calvin Klein dress ain’t bad either.  

The Great Gatsby beat out American Hustle for best costume design.  Boooooo!  Fun fact just learned: the GG costume designer is director Baz Luhrmann’s wife.  It’s a family affair.

Leo DiCaprio is looking mighty fine in his tux.  Poor guy is on his 4^th acting nomination, and Matthew McConaughey is probably gonna win tonight, so Leo’s losing streak will continue.  I hope he wins someday before he gets really old.

Bad Grandpa was nominated for best makeup.  It’s kinda ridiculous that Bad Grandpa was nominated for an Oscar.  Thank goodness it didn’t win.  (Dallas Buyers Club won.)  And why the heck wasn’t American Hustle even nominated?!  Bradley Cooper’s curls, Christian Bale’s hairpiece and both Jennifer Lawrence’s and Amy Adam’s big hairdos are worthy of some awards.

Okay, last year Channing Tatum was part of a dance segment at the Oscars.  But why is he back again this year?  More randomness.

Shot of Brangelina in the audience. They always arrive late, so they often don’t do red carpet interviews.  Brad is looking fairly clean-cut.  Short hair, minimal facial hair.  Me likey.

Why have they dragged out Kim Novak to present an award?  Like too many older Hollywood women, she’s had too much work done.  Her face is rather cartoonish.  And her voice sounds like she’s been smoking since the age of 7.

Emma Watson (aka Hermione) has long hair again.  Did she grow it out or weave it on?  Ya never know with these Hollywood types.

Oh look.  Gravity won Best Visual Effects.  Shocker.  (Not.)

So many random presenters and people in the audience.  Tyler Perry, Zac Efron, Glenn Close, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, John Stamos.  What’s Uncle Jesse doing there?
 

A movie called 20 years to Stardom just won Best Documentary.  I might actually like to see this because it’s about backup singers.  But Darlene Love’s (a “lifer” backup singer whom I know for some strange reason…) spontaneous song during the acceptance speech struck me as weird.

Angelina Jolie won a Humanitarian award at an earlier ceremony.  They showed a clip of her touching acceptance speech, during which she sweetly referenced her deceased mother.  When they cut back to the live Oscar telecast, Brad planted a big supportive kiss on her forehead, and she looked up at him with such adoration.  They seem so stinkin’ in love.  They really do have it all.

U2 is performing their song “Ordinary Love” from the Mandela movie.  It’s weird to see them all low-key and acoustic.

Fruitvale Station wasn’t nominated, but it’s nice that the Academy let Michael B. Jordan present. He just got a role in the reboot of The Fantastic Four.  The kid is going places.

Charlize Theron and Chris Hemsworth are presenting together.  So much hotness on stage at the same time.  They would make a striking and statuesque couple.  But he’s married (and expecting) and she’s dating Sean Penn, whom I concede is very talented but let’s face it, he is not terribly attractive.  And yet he managed to marry (a young) Madonna and Robin Wright.  He pulls hotties. 

They’re cutting to Sandra Bullock a lot in the audience, and she looks lovely.  I like her voluminous hair, swept to one side.  She ain’t gonna beat Cate Blanchett for Best Actress though.

Here comes the adorable Christoph Waltz.  That means it’s Best Supporting Actress time!  C’mon, Lupita.  And the winner is…Lupita!  Her date is a little guy who looks just like her and must be her brother!  And she got a standing o!  Everyone there seems so genuinely happy for her.  I got a little teary during her adorable acceptance speech.  It’s her first movie role, and she’s Hollywood’s new it-girl.  I hope it’s the beginning of a wonderful career (and not the beginning of the supporting-actress winner’s curse).

Ellen actually got pizzas and is passing out slices along with plates and napkins in the audience.  I’m just worried about someone getting pizza grease on their designer duds.  Jared Leto took a slice, and he’s wearing a white jacket.  Yikes!  But I think he handed it off to his mom, who’s wearing black.  I’m pretty sure several of the women who took a slice aren’t really eating it.  Their bodies wouldn’t even know what to do with a white carb, let’s get real.  Then again, Kate Hudson was just chewing on something…

P!nk is performing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” from Wizard of Oz as part of its 75^th anniversary tribute.  She sounds terrific (duh), but I’m not loving her dress.  With a body like hers, I think I’d always be wearing something form-fitting.  Btw, this tribute is also why Liza Minnelli is there since Judy Garland was her mom.  Liza’s less-famous brother and sister are there too. 

Ooh Jennifer Garner is wearing a silver, shimmery dress with layers of shimmying fringe.  Very flapperesque.  I love it.

Baz Luhrmann’s wife wins again, this time for set design on Great Gatsby.

What’s with all the facial hair, men?  Now it’s Chris Evans, who is getting better and better looking.  That is, when he doesn’t have full facial hair.  Movember is over.  Shave your faces!

No one can say Glenn Close’s dress isn’t age appropriate, but it’s too covered up.  It’s long sleeved, no décolletage at all, nothing.  It’s downright Victorian (but didn’t they show some boobage even?).
 

I forgot Bette Midler was performing.  She’s doing “Wind Beneath My Wings” following the In Memoriam segment.  She still sounds pretty good, but she’s singing in a lower key than she used to.  I can still remember that I never much liked her live.  She had an annoying habit of changing up the song but not in a good way.  And ugh, she just did the same annoying thing I remember her doing at the end of this song!  Seriously, Bette?  Bad case of déjà vu.  But she still gets a standing o because she’s Bette Midler, and it’s a tribute for the dead.

Okay, we’re 2.5 hours in, and they’ve only presented 2 of the big awards.

You can barely see John Travolta’s eyes.  Has he always been so squinty?  He’s had too much work done, looks weird.

Smooth, Travolta.  He just announced Idina Menzel as “the one and only Adele Dazine” or something like that.  See, those squinty little eyes don’t work very well.  Poor Idina to be so poorly introduced.  Now the people who don’t know who she is still won’t know who she is.  Her moment to shine at the Oscars just got squashed.  Well, at least she’s a star at the Tonys.  And she got a standing o.  Probably because they all feel so bad that Travolta mispronounced her name.  And Ellen very subtly said her name correctly 2x afterwards.  Nice.

Pharell and U2 lose out best song to the Frozen song.  I guess the award goes to the songwriter, so Idina Menzel does not get it.  Some fun musical writing couple got it, and they gave a pretty fun speech.

Penelope Cruz looks very pretty in feminine and flowy pink dress.  Her accent is as thick and inscrutable as ever.

Best Original Screenplay goes to Spike Jonze for Her!  I just cheered and clapped out loud, I’m so excited.  I loved this movie, especially the story and the writing.  I wanted it to win so badly, and it did.  Best Adapted and Original Screenplay are generally considered part of the big 8 awards, but lots of people don’t care much about them. I care very much about the writing awards because the writing is the foundation of any movie.  The writing is what makes a movie clever or touching or funny or poignant.  And writers give good speeches, too.

Alfonso Cuaron wins Best Director for Gravity.  He’s been winning a lot of awards, and he always says something funny, often by accident.  His accent is thick, and the language barrier is still in effect sometimes.  He really seems to love him some Sandy Bullock.

Oh Daniel Day-Lewis.  I will always have a little crush on you, My Beautiful Laundrette (that’s an early DDL film).  And Best Actress is…Cate Blanchett.  So far no surprises in the acting categories.  I am not a Woody Allen fan, but I may have to see Blue Jasmine because apparently Cate, whom I love dearly, is fantastic in it.  She has won at pretty much every award show this season, and she gives terrific acceptance speeches every time.  Tonight was no exception.
 

Sidenote:  Cate just mentioned that fellow nominee Judi Dench isn’t present because she’s in India making a sequel.  I assume it’s a sequel to The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, and that makes me very happy because I loved that delightful little movie.  I hope the sequel doesn’t suck.

As expected, Matthew McConaughey wins Best Actor.  He looks so happy.  It was so sweet when he teared up talking about his wife and kids.  His speech is long and a bit rambling (he included an rather long anecdote), but I think it was shorter than the 6-minute opus he delivered when accepting the Independent Spirit Award last night.  It’s been a long and winding journey to the podium for the sexy cowboy.  It’s very special when someone goes from being just a pretty face or a commercially successful actor to being a respected actor.  Plus he fought long and hard to get this movie made, so he’s extra proud of its success.  Along with Lupita and Jared, Matt is a first-time winner and first-time nominee.  Cate’s been here before (she won for The Aviator), but for the newbies it must be even more of a rush.  That being said, his speech wasn’t as good as Lupita, Jared or Cate.  But I love that he threw in “All right, all right, all right” one last time for the award season.

Will Smith (whose earrings—plural—look rather ridiculous) presents Best Picture to…12 Years a Slave.  So Brad Pitt finally wins an Oscar, not as an actor but as a producer.  Now he and Angie have matching gold statues.  Matching bookends, perhaps?
 

I think the show only went over by a few minutes.  And I don’t think the band played anyone off tonight, did they?  If so, it was rare enough that I don’t even remember it.  That was refreshing.  It’s a big moment even for the folks we don’t care about.  Let them have their freakin' moment!

Well, that's all she wrote.  And by she, I mean me.  So another awards season comes to a close.  Let’s do it again next year!