Regina's Thoughts on Grammys 2014

Look at that good-looking winner!  Now onto my thoughts about the show.

RED CARPET

Why is Paris Hilton there?  Why is she with Birdman?  And who is Birdman, really?  Turns out Paris is on Birdman’s label, which means…she’s singing again.  Sigh.  Let’s hope that doesn’t make it to the radio.  Her dress is fully covered in the front, and almost completely sheer in the back.  There’s a solid stripe fabric covering the middle of her butt all the way down to the floor, but that’s it.  It’s pretty but a little trashy.  Not indecent though.

Jared Leto is presenting with him Grammy-winning band 30 Seconds to Mars.  He is everywhere!  Winning all of the movie awards and taking time out to attend the Grammys too.

Ariana Grande is adorable.  Too bad she didn’t get any nominations this year.  Her range is incredible.  She really is like a new Mariah Carey (minus any diva-like qualities, so far.  But she’s young, so we’ll see what unfolds over time.)

Pharell is so cute. Not hot, per se, but truly cute.  And ageless!  I can’t believe he’s in his 40’s.  He looks so young.

Ciara is visibly preggers and says she’s performing at the E! afterparty.  I guess she won’t be doing all of her superbendy, sexy dances with the big bump.

Ugh, Rita Ora is there.  I don’t get the fascination with her.  Or maybe I’m just bitter b/c she had a fling with Bruno a few years back.

Alicia Keys is wearing a daring plunge neckline.  She is beautiful.

It’s still weird—but refreshing—to see Katy Perry looking so normal all the time.  I don’t get why people think she’s so hot.  She’s pretty enough and all, and I know she’s got big boobs but I don’t get “hot” or “beautiful,” words used to describe her often.

P!nk in red.  She looks amazing.  I <3 her.="" span="" style="mso-spacerun: yes;">  She’s the only one who has my blessing to win over Bruno.  I love her that much.

Madonna is wearing a full suit and tie b/c son David wanted her to dress like him.  Aww.  Oh, and she’s wearing a grill.  In her mouth.  Seriously.  She’s also working a cane b/c she just got off crutches a few days ago.  (I know that because I follow her Facebook posts.) Not sure how she ended up on crutches in the first place though.

Thank goodness Paula Patton (aka Mrs. Robin Thicke) is wearing something not as atrocious as that huge ruffle dress from the Golden Globes.

Jamie Foxx’s daughter is so pretty. 

Bruno didn’t walk the red carpet.  I guess he’s still not ready for live interviews and such.  He’s only done print interviews (and not many) since his mom passed last summer, just before his tour.  No radio promo stops during the tour either, which normally would have been routine.

THE AWARDS

Beyonce opens with Jay Z doing “Drunk in Love,” a song from her new cd that is growing on me.  She looks ridiculously hot.  Her body is insance.  Such a teeny tiny waist, such an hourglass figure.  I’d have to hate her if I didn’t have a girl crush on her and love her music so much.  (Though I don’t love this particular song.  It’s slowly growing on me.)

Poor LL Cool J has to remind people he used to make music.  But at least he’s found real success in his post-music career of acting.  This is his 3^rd or 4^th time hosting the show (he started whenever “NCIS:LA” started), and I like him as host.  He’s very affable and he genuinely seems excited about the music being celebrated.

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis win Best New Artist.  No surprise there.  But Mack, how ’bout you let Ryan thank some people too?  Rude.  If they win again, I hope he rectifies that.  Maybe he’s like Oates from Hall n’ Oates—seen but never heard.  (Update: I don’t think they won again, at least not onstage, so Ryan remains silenced.)

New Zealand teen darling Lorde is performing next.  I love her song “Royals,” but I won’t love her beating Bruno for Song or Record of the Year.  And she’s a weird performer live.  Twitchy.  I don’t tend to like twitchy.  Ask John Mayer.  (Where is he tonight anyway?  His paramour Katy Perry is a big nominee tonight.)

The Best Pop Duo/Group category is stacked with awesome songs—Pink, Daft Punk, Robin Thicke, Rihanna & JT (JT being my least fave of this bunch).  And Daft Punk takes it, but Pharell speaks for them.  Don’t they get hot or just annoyed being in those damn robot helmets all the time?  What do they look like anyway?  Are they secretly aliens or invisible or something, and this is their gimmicky way of hiding it?! 

Katy Perry’s performance is different for her.  Visually dark.  She looked awkward doing that one smooth dance move that went with a distinctly hip-hop beat segment of the song.  A dancer she is not.  I will concede that she has been sounding better live since this new album came out.  Still not great, but better.

Some old dude is singing, and I don’t know who he is.  But he sounds pretty good.  Oh,  it’s Chicago (with Robin Thicke).  That’s why I don’t know him.  Chicago ceased to exist for me after Peter Cetera left.  He was Chicago.  Sorry.  And they just segued right into “Blurred Lines.”  What a great song.  We were jamming to it in step class just last week.  It gets ya goin’!

Sorry Keith Urban, I can’t get down with country.  Fast forward.  (Honorable mention to young Hunter Hayes, whom I zipped past earlier in the broadcast too.)

John Legend performing.  I want to like him, but I just don’t.  He’s a dapper dresser, kinda cute and he went to my alma mater Penn, but I just can’t.  Fast forward.

Paul McCartney just won with Dave Grohl for Best Rock Song.  I guess that’s his new wife/fiancée/girlfriend with him.  He loves his younger women, and they keep flocking to  him.

Ooh, low-key Taylor Swift tonight.  Just her and a piano, sounding pretty good.  Perhaps she’s improving.  I must remember not to write people off b/c they do sometimes develop their skills over time.  I just wish they’d all do it before they become famous in the first place.

Okay, Taylor just lost me with her violent hair flings.  It’s like she was headbanging.  While playing a ballad at a grand piano.  Seriously.  And it came across as very unnatural and stiff.  Fast forward.

Bruno introduces P!nk w/ Nate Ruess.  He looks so cute (as if he could look any other way).  But what’s up with the bolo tie, Bru?  He posted a twit-pic a month or so ago with a bunch of bolos, but I didn’t expect to see one show up on the Grammys.  Isn’t that more of a country thing?

I wasn’t expecting any acrobatics from P!nk tonight, but apparently she’s doing a bit of “Try” (with acrobatics) before lauching into her “Just Give Me A Reason” duet.  Yippee!  Watching her contort her body and spin and hang while singing beautifully live will never, ever get old.  Such a phenomenal performer.  And she’s one of those people who has improved with time.  Young P!nk was not all that when she sang live, but she grew up and honed her craft.  <3 span="">

Onto the duet.  Why is Nate Ruess sporting that ridiculous mustache?  P!nk sounds terrific, per usual.  Nate?  He needs to hone his craft.  He’s an inconsistent live performer.  P!nk is perfection.

Lorde just stole one of Bruno’s awards.  And so it begins…  Now I’m bitter.

Ringo Starr isn’t much of a singer, is he?  They were right to keep him in the background.

Jay-Z and Bey didn’t seem all that amused by Jamie Foxx’s jokes. Stop taking yourselves so seriously. Lighten up.

Imagine Dragons performing with Kendrick Lamar.  I gotta admit this mash-up is working for me.  While I’ve heard of Kendrick, I’ve never actually heard his stuff.  Lorde looks like she’s feeling the mash-up.  And Taylor is white-girl dancing like a loon, as she does.  Sit down, Taylor.  We get it—you’re very up on all genres of music and you rock out to them all.  (Eye roll…)

More Beatles.  Mercifully Paul McCartney sounds better than Ringo.

Pharell won Producer of the Year off-camera.  Good for him, totally deserved.  But why didn’t I notice how hideous that hat is.  No, Pharell, just no.

BRUNO WINS BEST POP VOCAL ALBUM!!! This is his 2^nd Grammy win but his first chance to accept on-air, up on the big stage.  I’m so happy for him.  And strangely proud.  Being a superfan is a weird thing.  I want him to be successful so badly though I get nothing out of it.  He dedicated it to his mama, who died unexpectedly last summer.  So sweet.  (And handsome, of course.)

How old is Willie Nelson?  And was he ever young?  I feel like he was an old man when I was a kid, and he’s still an old man.  And Kris Kristofferson doesn’t sound good. 

Bey & Jay-Z seem to really be enjoying “Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys.”  Whodathunkit?

This is only Daft Punk’s 2^nd live tv performance ever.  Crazy.  Unfortunately, Pharell is still wearing that ugly hat.  Daft Punk changed their outfits.  But did they change their helmets?!  Nile Rodgers helped produce this track too, and they did a little bit of “Le Freak”—true 70s.  Stevie Wonder isn’t sounding so good, but he’s Stevie Wonder, so we give him a pass.

The entire audience is on their feet dancing to Daft Punk, et al.  It’s awesome!  There is some seriously questionable “dancing” going on though.  LOL.  Paul McCartney is not much for the moves, nor is Yoko Ono.  Steven Tyler busted out a tried and true disco arm roll move—too funny.  Too bad his hair also looks funny.  (Some little ponytails or something mixed in with this long locks.)

For the record, I love all 3 of the big retro-disco songs from last summer (Daft Punk “Get Lucky,” Robin Thicke “Blurred Lines,” and of course Bruno Mars “Treasure.”)  All great dance tracks, and I think they are instant classics.

Cyndi Lauper presents Sara Bareilles and Carole King, dualing sensitive-singer-songwriters with their tandem pianos.  I love Cyndi’s hardcore New Yawk accent.  Sara sounds great.  Carole not so much.  Age is not kind to singers’ voices.  “Brave” is a cool song though.  Aw, how sweet—Sara is fangirling over Carole.  Fun fact: Prince names Carole King as a huge musical influence.  Surprising, right?

Ugh, Lorde wins Song of the Year, an award that goes to the songwriters, over Bruno and his team.  I’m beginning to hate this youngster.

Thank you, Metallica, for not headbanging tonight.  This is pretty low key.  And it’s giving me some time to catch up on Facebook and surf the web a little.

Just realized that Justin Timberlake didn’t go up to accept Rap Duo award with Jay-Z, so he must not be there?  But he had a lot of nominations.  Did he really not bother showing up?

Crap—Metallica just went all headbanger on me.  Lead singer sounds like he’s possessed.  Oh how I wish I could fast-forward now.  Lemme just turn the volume down at least.  Thank goodness that’s over.

Steven Tyler (presenting with Smokey Robinson) is such a character.  I miss him on American Idol.

Record of the Year goes to Daft Punk.  Not Bruno.  Sadness.  Great song but…sadness.  Here come the invisible aliens in helmets and Pharell and his ugly ass hat.

There’s another rock performance coming up.  What will I do?!?!

My mouth just dropped when I saw how svelte Queen Latifah is.  (Clearly I don’t watch her talk show, or I wouldn’t be so surprised, huh.)  I’ve always thought she was so pretty, but now she’s downright hot.  Good for her.  I think this is the smallest I’ve ever seen her.  She’s probably starving, LOL.  But it’s better to look good than to feel good, right?  Hollywood mantra.

Let’s see what Madonna does with Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (that name is entirely too long). Oh wow, a big mass marriage ceremony.  How cool to say you got married at the Grammys!  With Madonna and Queen Latifah (and Macklemore—not as important) on stage.

Ryan Seacrest really is the hardest working man in showbiz.  He’s got American Idol, I Heart Radio, his radio show, Dick Clark’s NYE bash, producing shows on E! like “Kardashians,” hosting red carpet pre-shows and now he’s got his hands in this Grammy Foundation thing.  Wow.

Album of the Year goes to Daft Punk. Maybe I need to hear some other tracks on this album.  Bruno wasn’t even nominated for this one.  Ridiculous.

Well, that’s it.  Bruno takes home one, and that’s all I really care about.  See you March 2nd  for the Oscars!

Golden Globes 2014: Reflections

 

RED CARPET

 First up on the red carpet, Zooey Deschanel.  Just when I was all set to fast forward over her, Ryan (Seacrest) asked about Prince’s upcoming guest spot on the post-Superbowl ep of New Girl. You have my attention now, Ms. Deschanel.

“Girls” Lena Dunham looks a little better than usual, but her dress is a little too form-fitting for a less-than-fit form, if you get my drift.  Nothing wrong with being chunky, but dress for you body, girl.  And the huge, hideous arm tattoo…ugh.  That's her in the yellow.

 People show up so early these days!  I remember when you couldn’t hope to see anyone you remotely cared about for at least 30 minutes into a red carpet broadcast. 

30 minutes in, and I’ve already noticed 3 ladies wearing nude dresses, so I guess that’s a trend tonight.  I’m sure Joan Rivers and her crew will confirm this on E!’s Fashion Police tomorrow night.  (Yes, of course I always watch the fashion review of the red carpet. Duh. I’m very thorough in my awards viewing.  Pre-shows, post-shows, fashion reviews.  I’m committed.  Or maybe I should be committed.  Tomato, To-mah-toe.  Shrug.)

Lot of red shades of dress coming down the carpet too.

Kerry Washington looks terrific all dressed up and preggers.  (and wearing a nude color btw)

I don’t think I’ve seen anyone truly hideous yet.  I must be forgetting someone…

Aw, it’s an “Aviator” reunion—Cate Blanchett and Leo DiCaprio.  I’m reminded that I never got around to seeing that movie.

Oh good—Bradley Cooper looks like Bradley Cooper again.  No more American Hustle perm.  But he’s overbaked (too tan).

Ooh, the fashion police is gonna get you, Emma Watson, for wearing pants to a formal event. And they don’t look like formal pants. But she’s cute as a button, as always.

Melissa McCarthy’s dress is better than usual, I guess, but still nothing to write home about.

Matthew McConaughey is looking pretty good.  Makes me wonder if he’s wearing makeup b/c he’s always been a good-looking guy, but his age has been showing lately.  

How has Sofia Vergara been allowed to hold onto that thick Colombian accent all these years in Hollywood?  I can’t believe no one made her take elocution lessons or whatever kind of speech training they do to drop accents.  She’d be so much more marketable if she could act with or without the accent. It’s limiting. “Modern Family” can’t run forever.

So many pregnant ladies on the red carpet tonight:  Drew Barrymore, Olivia Wilde, Kerry Washington.  They can have their own segment on Fashion Police.  Kerry looked fab; Olivia looked good too; Drew not so much.  Her dress is too busy for any woman, and doubly so for a woman sporting a bump.  (Fun Fact: Olivia Wilde’s birth name was Olivia Cockburn, so you can see why she changed that.)

Julia Roberts looks like she’s wearing a strapless gown…over a white collared, button-down shirt.  Kinda weird. 

Sandra Bullock has no boobs.  Just an observation.  Actually I guess it’s not much of an observation.  Good for her, not having implants. (see below)

Jennifer Lawrence is fangirling over Taylor Swift.  TS kinda annoys me, so I’m not all that enthused.  JLaw's new pixie ’do is adorable.

OMG—Jennifer Lawrence just dropped a piece of her expensive, borrowed jewelry!  DO NOT lose the jewelry, girl!

Ick—Chris Pine (new Star Trek movies, new Jack Ryan) has a beard.  I hope that’s for a role and not for real.

It is amazing how all these women in their 40’s and beyond maintain their svelte figures.  They must be miserable and hungry all the time.  B/c you know their metabolism has slowed down and fat just wants to settle into undesirable areas.  (I know of which I speak, lemme tell ya.)

Zoe Saldana seems really sweet.  I don’t know why this is surprising to me.

During the Globes Arrival Show they just flashed Melissa McCarthy’s name over a shot of Matthew McConaughey.  Ha ha ha!  Same initials, both last names start with Mc-.  Just a McStake (you see what I did there?).

THE SHOW

I love how hosts Tina and Amy get the bigshots in the audience participate in their comic bits.

Let's check out some of Tina's best jokes.  (Sorry, Amy, I love you, but Tina was funnier.)

Tina:  “Gravity,” is the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more moment with a woman his own age.  Priceless! 

Tina:  For [Matthew McConaughey’s] role in “Dallas Buyers Club,” he lost 45 lbs, or as actresses call it “being in a movie.” 

Tina:  We’re gonna get this show done in 3 hours, or as Martin Scorcese likes to call it, “Act 1.”

Apparently “Wolf of Wall Street” used the f-word 506 times.  Holy f***!

Having now seen the bottom of Sandra Bullock’s dress, I no longer notice her lack of boobage.  Only the ugliness of her dress.

I will always hate that the Globes just lop all the tv supporting actors/actresses—comedy, drama and miniseries—into one category.  These people should not be up against each other.  Does it cost them something to have separate categories?  Puhleeze.

Jacqueline Bisset just gave a horrible, rambling speech. It had a few good moments, but overall it was a mess.  They’re trying to play her off, and she’s still talking.  If the recipient is saying something worthwhile, this is endearing.  In this instance, it is not endearing.  Sit down and shut up. 

How is this only Elisabeth Moss’ 2^nd nomination?  The Globes haven’t been nominating her for “Mad Men”?  Only once apparently.  Booooo!

See and now they’re trying to play off Elisabeth Moss, and I’m pissed.  It’s absurd that this is only her 2^nd nod to begin with.  So orchestra, you can shut up this time and let her finish!

Paula Patton (aka Mrs. Robin Thicke) is beautiful.  But her blush is a little heavy, and that gigantic ruffle weaving its way down the left side of her body (shoulder to knee) is also excessive.

I wonder if Bryan Cranston (“Breaking Bad”) will miss shaving his head now that the show is over?

The tv people are forced to sit in the back of the room like second-class citizens, while all the movie stars are up front.  Consequently, it takes forever for them to get up to the podium.

Joaquin Phoenix has a beard and a ponytail.  Because just one of those wasn’t enough.

Jon Voight just won.  Good thing this is an off-year for Brangelina so as to avoid tension.  Jon and Angie’s relationship seem to run very hot and cold.

Amongst the nominees for Best Actress in a tv drama, we have the woman from “Orphan Black,” the woman from “Orange is the New Black,” and from “Scandal” Kerry Washington, who happens to be black.  (If you say it with the right intonation, it works.)

None of the “Black/black” nominees won; Robin Wright did.  And kudos to 47-year-old Robin Wright (the former Mrs. Sean Penn), who also recently announced her engagement to 33-year-old Ben Foster.  He’s not very attractive, but he is a good actor and he’s 14 years her junior, so there’s that.  And he gets to marry the Princess Bride.  Everybody wins.

 

 

Presenter Jim Carrey is still funny even if he doesn’t make great movies anymore.  (Does he?)

So much, nay too much, facial hair on the men in the room.

Like Joaquin, Jared Leto is sporting a beard and a ponytail.  Unlike Joaquin, it works for him.  He’s a rock star after all (lead singer of 30 Seconds to Mars).  Plus he’s always way more attractive than Joaquin. 

Whoa—Colin Farrell is all spiffed up and looking fine.

They are trying to play everyone off.  So rude!  Like it’s the end of the world if an awards show runs over a little.  We kind of expect it. 

Awards I just can’t bring myself to care about:  best foreign film and animated film.  I don’t watch ‘em, so I don’t care about their awards.  Sorry.

Daenarys (sp?) aka Khaleesi from "Game of Thrones" is unrecognizable as a brunette.  Every time I see her, I’m like “who’s that?”

What is up with Rob Lowe’s hair?  The sides (and maybe back) are cut very close, and it’s still full on top, kinda spiked upward.  It’s weird, but it makes him look younger.  And he was already looking pretty good.

The Cecil B. DeMille award is going to Woody Allen.  Oy.  I’m not a fan, which is actually great b/c I can fast-forward over some of this.  It’s always such a long segment.

Oh look—Diane Keaton is wearing a suit and tie.  Shocking.

Why isn’t Woody there to accept this award?  Crap.  They probably explained it, but I fast forwarded.  Oh, well, I’m sure I’ll read about it tomorrow.

Double crap.  I’ve caught up to live tv.  Unacceptable. 

It’s always amusing when the Globes shower attention on shows/movies/performances that really aren’t getting recognition elsewhere.  This year it’s the film “Wolf of Wall Street” & star Leo DiCaprio and tv show “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” & its star Andy Samberg.  The Hollywood Foreign Press (whoever the heck they are) sometimes have weird taste, and it makes it hard to take them seriously.  I don’t even lend much credence to winning a GG anymore.  A critics choice award or a SAG award has more prestige and serves as a better indicator of Oscar success.  Just sayin’.  And while “Wolf” has some critics love, it has no SAG nominations.  We’ll see what Oscar says later this week when their noms come out.

Aw, it’s another “Aviator” reunion as Leo presents Cate Blanchett’s award.  Her speech was smart and funny, just like Cate.  Love her.

Matthew McConaughey started his speech with the immortal words, “All right, all right, all right.”  No, seriously—that’s the first thing he said!  I can’t talk about Sofia’s accent and ignore Matt’s highly recognizable drawl.  How did he play a Northerner in “Amistad”? How did that work?

Johnny Depp is blond.  With his boyish, floppy-hair style, he looks like a surfer dude.  I’m not loving the blond, but he is a still a mighty fine piece of man.  That chiseled face.  Umph.

 

It amuses me that the writer/director of “12 Years a Slave”—a black Brit—has the same name as supercool man’s man movie icon—white American—Steve McQueen.  (Fun Fact: “12 Years” stars Chiewetel Ejiofor, Michael Fassbender & Benedict Cumberbatch are also Brits.  The Brit and Aussie ability to mimic American accents is nothing short of astounding.  Yet Sofia Vergara and Matt McConaughey can’t cover their accents!)

Until we meet again (which will probably be the Oscars)…