Time for my annual blog post. LOL. But seriously, it seems like I only post a Golden Globes review each January, and I then I disappear. Blogging is just so time-consuming, and I have so much tv to watch. (For realz, you have no idea how packed my DVR is!) Without further ado, my thoughts on last night’s show.
PRE-SHOW OBSERVATIONS
Ryan Seacrest—weird hair tonight. Too long, too poofy in the front.
These women are impossibly skinny! I marvel at it every year, but it’s always shocking.
Jodie Foster looks great. And shocker, she’s wearing Armani. (I kid b/c Jodie always wears Armani!)
Jennifer Lawrence (Hunger Games) is so pretty, and I like her dress…except for the weird structured cups under her boobs.
Rosario Dawson (why is she there?) is wearing a lovely blue frock that unflatteringly flattens her boobs.
I’m trying to understand the sex appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch (BBC Sherlock, not to be confused with CBS Sherlock Jonny Lee Miller, aka the first Mr. Angelina Jolie). Still not getting it. Pretty sure I never will.
Julianne Moore is always so pretty. She makes pale look amazing.
Both Halle Berry and Eva Longoria are flashing a lotta leg effectively carrying on the Angelina Jolie leg-jutting-out-of-high-slit tradition of last year.
Apparently P Diddy (or whatever moniker he goes by these days) is close friends with Sienna Miller. They have pet names for each other. He’s “she-she” and Sienna is “baby she-she.” Wha??? (and I left the “t” off intentionally. Deal with it.)
I just squealed when George Clooney came up and hugged Julianna Margulies hello. Aww, Doug and Carol. Gotta love an ER flashback.
Everyone keeps talking about how cold it is there for the ladies (what with their strapless, high-slitted, sheer dresses), so I have to wonder: nipple covers?
Stacy Kiebler hanging in there with George Clooney. She may never make it down the aisle, but she has made it to a second season of red carpet events!
How is Lena Dunham good friends w/ Zac Posen? She’s just now getting famous; he’s been famous (designer) for years. How do they know each other? He’s good friends with Natalie Portman, I believe. That relationship, I understand.
Oh, goody. Adele is there. She’ll win the freakin’ Globe (best song), and I suppose she’ll win an Oscar this year too. Hmph.
THE ACTUAL CEREMONY
I love Christoph Waltz’s (Django Unchained, Inglourious Basterds) voice. His accent is delightful. It has a sing-song quality to it.
It trips me out that Danny Strong (one of the geek trio from Buffy the Vampire Slayer) is a respected Hollywood writer. (He wrote the script for Game Change, the HBO film about Sarah Palin.)
Why does Eva Longoria even get to be there? She was at the Critics’ Choice Awards last week also. And she presented at both. What is she even doing post-Desperate Housewives?
Has Jon Hamm (Mad Men) ever won anything?! Emmy, Globe, SAG—anything? That poor man is a perpetual bridesmaid.
My girl crush J.Lo is as beautiful as ever. The dress I’m not so sure about, but her face, exquisite.
Ugh—Adele won. They mentioned that she’s won 9 Grammys. Bruno only has one. And here comes that trashy, cockney accent…
Jack Bauer! I miss 24. Still haven’t deleted the “series record” from my dvr. I can’t bring myself to do it.
What is Bill Clinton doing there? Lena Dunham sure is excited. They didn’t cut to Clint Eastwood. I doubt he’s excited.
What’s Alyssa Milano doing there?
Everyone thinks Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig are hilarious. Everyone except for the apparently humorless Tommy Lee Jones.
Jennifer Lawrence gave a great speech. She's pretty damn funny, and I don’t think Hollywood has fully spoiled her just yet. Give it time though.
Anne Hathaway looks really cute with her short, Twiggy hairstyle, and she is very well-spoken. She sounds smart, and I like that.
Jeremy Irons is sporting tails but thankfully no top hat.
Lucy Liu’s dress is too big and poofy to share the stage with another presenter.
Matt LeBlanc is still with his homewrecker.
Don Cheadle just oozes cool.
Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger presenting together. They are so old now, but let’s just remember the 80’s to mid-90’s. Good testerone-driven, butt kicking, gunfighting, exploding times!
Lea Michele is ridiculously tan. I don’t care if it’s fake or not. It’s too much.
Claire Danes wins. My So-Called Life forever! And she’s not all unnaturally tan.
Jodie Foster seems very fast and loose tonight (probably the alcohol). Watching her movie montage makes me miss Jodie Foster in movies. Nell, Silence of the Lambs, Sommersby—love, love, love. And her arms are amazing! That is one fit 50-year-old woman.
Wow, Jodie’s speech took a serious turn. She got the waterworks going for me (and lots of famous folks in the room) with her declaration of love to her ailing mom. She also confused us all by kinda-sorta coming out…restrospectively and a bunch of other stuff. It was pretty spastic. I think she imbibed too much.
Quentin Tarantino just spit out his champagne on-camera. Was that a bit?
So Ben Affleck wins a Golden Globe and a Critics Choice Award for directing Argo but didn’t even receive an Oscar nod. But the acting community (and the Hollywood Foreign Press & movie critics, apparently) has really held him up as a great director, Oscar or no Oscar.
I just realized—the original Bennifer is in the same room as Bennifer 2! And Diddy is there too. J.Lo is surrounded by her most famous exes. (Sorry Marc Anthony—you ain’t that famous.)
Wow, Lena Dunham has a lot of tattoos (on the shoulder and arm, across the back). I’m sorry but that is just not attractive in an evening gown. I don’t remember noticing them on her show, and she’s buck nekkid all the time, so they must cover them with makeup. Wish she’d do the same for red carpet events.
Very funny that Lena Dunham thanked Chad Lowe, a humorous allusion to Hilary Swanks’ forgotten-thank-you-heard-round-the-world when she won the Oscar for Boys Don’t Cry and forgot to thank her then-hubby Chad Lowe, who ironically was a boy crying buckets during her acceptance speech. Good one, Lena!
Crazy cute that Ben Affleck got his presenter-wife Jennifer Garner to thank his producers, whom he forgot to thank. I’ll be sad if they ever break up.
Joaquin Phoenix is becoming less attractive with age—unusual for a man. But to be honest, he was never much of a looker. That was River Phoenix—hottie who died too soon.
Daniel Day Lewis wins. I had the biggest crush on him in the late 80’s/early 90’s, and I still have a soft spot for him. To this day, I will absolutely watch a movie on the strength of him starring in it, movies I might otherwise have little to no interest in seeing.
Argo wins best film, drama. Ben Affleck is the most loved man in Hollywood (if you don’t count the Oscars). Argo f**k yourself! (If you saw the movie, you know what I’m talking about. If you didn’t see it, get on that.)
Tina Fey & Amy Poehler did a terrific job. Love those gals, love their shows (30 Rock, Parks & Recreation). I only wish there had been more of them.
That's it, folks. See ya next year! (Okay, maybe sooner, but I refuse to make any promises. Wouldn't be prudent.)
