So th e VMA's kinda sucked, right?

I live for award shows. Love them. AMA's, VMA's, Grammys, Billboard Awards, Golden Globes, SAG Awards, Emmys, and, the grand puba, the Oscars (aka Regina's Superbowl). The VMA's, in particular, have yielded many a memorable performance for me: Madonna doing "Vogue" in full Victorian garb; Prince in his assless pants doing "Gett Off," complete w/ a simulated orgy of semi-clad dancers in gold body paint; Britney doing "Slave 4 U" w/ a live snake; Justin Timberlake making his solo debut with "Love You Like I Love You"; Lady Gaga just last year, doing a freakazoid performance of "Paparazzi," culminating with her bloody "murder"; the infamous Madonna-Britney-Christina menage-a-liplock; Beyonce descending from the ceiling for a "Baby Boy"/"Crazy in Love" medley (is it still a medley if it's only 2 songs?); Pink's acrobatic "Sober" performance last year; a young, up-n-coming Madonna writhing around the stage in a wedding gown (lots of Madonna, I know, but what I can say? The woman rules the world. Just like she told Dick Clark she wanted to someday.); even that hot mess of an anti-comeback (would that make it a go-back, as in "go back wherever you've been hiding b/c we don't need you back?) by Britney a few years ago (It's Britney, bitch); and various other performances by the always reliable JT, Beyonce, Christina, etc...it's endless, I tell you! This show has given us some amazing moments.

But last night was lackluster for me. Granted, I was not fond of most of the musical guests, so I'm a bit biased. I always like it better when people I really like perform. (Go figure.) Still, the consensus online seems to be that the show was a letdown, so it's not just me. The usually very funny Chelsea Handler was unfunny & awkward. Out of her element, I suppose. Why the hell did Gaga not perform?! She was up for 13 awards and the biggest shit going. Why did they squander her presence?!

Some other observations:

• Snooki's coloring is out of control. Surely there is a self-help group or something for that. She looks like she was in the oven too long. Fake tan or real tan, she just looks ridiculous.
• Justin Bieber plays the drums! I did not know that, but I'm impressed. The kid has a cute little voice, nothing exceptional, but I'm impressed that he can play an instrument, too. Good for you, Biebs, for gaining some music cred.
• Taylor Swift sounded better than usual. Waaaay better than she sounded on the Grammys with Stevie Nicks. That was painful.
• Loving that Florence & the Machine song. Only ever heard a snippet of it in the Eat, Pray, Love trailer, but after last night's performance, I am totally feeling it. I smell a download.
• Great to see Cher going all retro with her "If I Could Turn Back Time" outfit. I loved her comment that she used to get kicked off MTV for her skimpy costumes, and it's so tame compared to today. Amen, Cher!
• Jordan Catalano (aka Jared Leto) won an award with his band! I was only half paying attention when they went up, and I thought to myself, "who's that guy who kinda looks like Jared Leto?" WTF? His band must be the real deal, huh? Someone on the ew.com blog commented that it was a great time for My So-Called Life alums, with Claire Danes (aka Angela Chase) winning an Emmy two weeks ago and now this. I just appreciated the MSCL shoutout. Love all things MSCL (in case you couldn't tell by the very name of my blog). :-)
• I don't wanna say Usher can't dance anymore. But me no like the choreography last night. I just want "Yeah" back. Or "Caught Up." Or even "You Make Me Wanna." The new stuff just doesn't do it for. Neither do the new moves.
• I'm pumped for the new Facebook movie, but seeing JT there presenting/promoting just made me miss my JT the singer & dancer. Come back to music, JT! We miss you, you sexy mf.

I'll still come back next year. And with any luck, so will JT, Beyonce, Gaga, et al. The VMA's are hit-or-miss. This year was a miss. Praying for a hit next time.